Warning: Monkey at Work This is nor just an article neither just a userpage, and obviously not a redlink or a bluelink. This page may contain complete garbage devoid of all meaning. And, it mixes the Wikipedia, this user, the Pope and the dope without any rhyme of reason. But the user couldn't care less.

The story of the exploits of Sun Wukung (孫悟空; known in the West as the Monkey King) narrated in the sixteenth century book the Journey to the West shows the Monkey King to be a rascal and a thief as well as the resilient trickster figure who is able to outwit both the celestial gods and the lords of the netherworld (陰間) before at last earning great honor through his service to them.^[1]

[edit] What's in a name?

The sanity of this user is disputed. Please refrain from conversing normally with this user.

Part	Name	Hieroglyph	Vernacular	Meaning
First	Aditya		आदित्य (Sanskrit)	The Sungod, one of the 12 highest gods of Indian Pantheon, a son of Aditi the Earth Goddess
Family	Kabir		الكبير (Arabic)	The Great, an attribution of the God, an attribution of kings

[edit] Prologue: What, me worry?

That's me and my reincarnations in a journey towards the Nirvana of the Apes.

It was a sunny summer afternoon, as sunny as it gets, and my colleague Shakib was getting excited about some business pitch or other. I don't remember which one, or if we managed to win it or not. To answer to his bullet-pointed questionnaire I turned to Google. I was feeling lucky that day, and I typed out - Bandarban - and voila, came up an Wikipedia page.

I have been caught ever since, held by the power of this wonderful project of Wikimedia Foundation, hosted by Wikia and running on MediaWiki softwares, is truly the greatest of all Wikis and a crowning glory of Web 2.0. I soon found out that the Bangladesh entries on this free content encyclopedia needs massive help. So I volunteered, though not much has been achieved yet. Instead of focusing my efforts around my home country I have been rather busy with random articles or topics that tickled my fancy. Not a difficult job, as we have till today 3,137,779 articles to choose from.

I Userboxes

Interesting facts

This user is a monkey. Please use small words when speaking to them. This user is male. This user is a Scorpio. This user was born on the year of the Dog. 狗 This user comes from Bangladesh BA This user has a Bachelor of Arts degree in International Relations. This user is a professional writer or journalist.

Not so interesting facts

∞ This user is an ageless Immortal. This user is an escaped genetic experiment. meat This user is mostly or entirely made of meat. It is possible this User is human. Please approach with extreme caution. The sanity of this user has been disputed. Refer to the talk page to discuss this topic. All your base are belong to this user.

Shortcomings

This user has social anxiety. ADHD This user has ADHD. oops This user frite quequently uses spoonerisms. DYS This user is Dyslexic. This user is nearsighted.

God

This user believes in the existence of God. This user is interested in religion.    This user is a Mystic. This user is interested in Karma.

Relationships

This user has a wife. sis This user has a little sister CF This user is childfree.

Habits

Contrary to popular belief, this user is drug-free. This user drinks tea. C2H5 OH-0 This user is a non-drinker. This user is an omnivore.

I think, therefore...

@ This user can be reached by email. This user uses Google as a primary search engine. This user prefers Mozilla Firefox. This user is a proud contributor to Uncyclopedia. This user has a page on Wikitravel. This user maintains a blog at blogspot. YOU This user is Time magazine Person of the Year 2006.

...I do

This user supports gender equality. This user supports recycling. This user supports public transit. This user has arranged for organ donation; have you? Choice This user is pro-life and pro-abortion. This user supports and encourages the practice of safe sex. This user supports the legalization of same-sex marriage.

My Wikipedia

This user has been helping to make the Internet not suck since 2006. This user has been on Wikipedia for 3 years, 7 months, and 19 days. 12,000+ This user has made over 12,000 contributions to Wikipedia. This user has written or significantly contributed to 5 featured articles on Wikipedia. This user has significantly contributed to 8 Good Articles. This user has written or expanded 6 DYK articles on Wikipedia. This user is Addicted to Wikipedia. Editing Wikipedia is something this user does as a hobby. This user tries to do the right thing. If he makes a mistake, please let him know. This user does not understand mean people. Please be nice. The English Wikipedia has 3,137,779 articles.

My policies

3 It's really pretty simple: → Mind NPOV | Don't be a dick ← → Ignore all rules ← Wikipedia is not censored. This user believes that mindless tagging without doing any editing is little better than vandalism. This user believes that a user's edit count does not necessarily reflect on the value of their contributions to Wikipedia. no ads This user is against commercials in Wikipedia. This user believes that articles are useless without images. please This user makes use of the word please, and prefers to hear it too In an emergency, this user may be slapped with a trout.

Language

bn বাংলা এই ব্যবহারকারীর মাতৃভাষা en-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of English. This user avoids the use of Latin-based words and rules in English. Mix This user has been influenced by too many dialects of English to use one orthography, vocabulary and grammar consistently. exo- This user prefers the anglicised versions of most proper nouns. This user enjoys reading almost anything IntS-0 This user has no interest in Internet slang, or talks like an offline person.

Babel

dlph-5 Sreeee ack oork ee'urrr sque'ek eer. BS-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Bullshit. ipa-1 ə This user has a basic understanding of the International Phonetic Alphabet. hi-1 यह सदस्य हिन्दी भाषा का प्रारंभिक ज्ञान रखते हैं। es-1 Este usuario puede contribuir con un nivel básico de español. sa-1 एषः उपयोजकः सरल-संस्कृते लिखितुं शक्नोति. Ths usr cn rd & rt usn txt lng la-0 Hic usor Latine non intellegat aut id intellegat aegre. ... This user would like to know oodles more languages.

Two for the road

Stub This user is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding him. END This user has no more userboxes.

[edit] Before the monkey came

The trio from the Class of '69 of Dhaka University kept the flame of language movement alive.

My mother grew up in the house that my maternal grandfather bought from the family of Jibanananda Das in Barisal, near the Oxford Church. Das, the famous Bengali poet, has lived there for most of his life to write some of the most wonderful poems in Bangla. My father taught at Brajamohan College, where Das was a member of the faculty a few decades earlier.

My father published a number of monographs on the poet when he was teacher at the University of Dhaka. Among his friends, a gang of poets and intellectuals that included Farhad Mazhar and Ahmad Safa, he was recognized as the last standard-bearer of the school of Mr. Das. His other friends and associates included Humayun Azad, Nirmalendu Goon and Mohammad Rafiq. Both my parents and their friends were involved with the radical flank of the Six point movement of 1969. That was before my birth.

[edit] Beginning at the end

My guardian angel Saint Anne by Leonardo da Vinci. In the Eastern Orthodox tradition, she is the Forbear of God.

It was 13 November 1970, a day after the worst cyclone disaster in recorded history - the 1970 Bhola cyclone. I was born in wee hours that showed no light apart from lightning strikes. As I breathed my first at Saint Anne's Hospital, Barisal, thousands breathed their last in my ancestral village, Jangalia, less than a 100 km away. The Bay of Bengal, a regular generator of tropical cyclones was at its cruelest that day surpassing the disasters of 1965, 1963, 1942 and 1864. The cyclone and its fury killed 500,000 people by estimate.^[2]

I arrived in the middle of an apocalypse, shortly followed by an armageddon - the Bangladesh Liberation War.

A month after my birth, Awami League became the majority in National Assembly elections.^[3] But, upon the threats of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto of Pakistan People's Party, Yahya Khan then president of Pakistan, delayed the convening of the assembly.^[4] Then in 1971, all hell broke loose. Sheikh Mujib gave a speech virtually declaring independence (7 March),^[5] Yahya Khan declared martial law, the Pakisatni Army launched Operation Searchlight (26 March), Bengalis in the army defected and Major Ziaur Rahman declared independence of Bangladesh (27 March).^[6] The ensuing nine months to freedom took a toll of 3,000,000 Bangladeshi lives, inclduing a paternal uncle.^[7] 400,000 women were raped,^[8] 600,000 refugees, including a maternal uncle, left for India,^[9] and entire Bangladesh was devastated.

My mother, pregnant with my younger sister, took me through a tour of the country in fear of persecution. Other members of the family joined the war to liberate Bangladesh. A paternal uncle died, a paternal aunt was later recognized as a Bir Protik

[edit] Whirlwinds

Proud to be a Bangladeshi, utterly butterly proud. My, it's so stuck between Afghanistan and Papua New Guinea. Way too cool.

The newly liberated state brought no good news. Liberation was followed by famine, a greed-borne disaster that killed about a million^[10]. Then the assassination of Sheikh Mujibur Rahman came along with a long line of military coups, as well as the killings of Abu Taher, Zahir Raihan, Siraj Sikdar and my father.

I was entered into Udayan School, then University Laboratory School and finally West End Highschool. In 1987 I passed the Secondary School Certificate examination. After two years at the Notredame College, where I had to become a debating champion to escape charges of misconduct, I passed the Higher Secondary (School) Certificate examination.

Cannabis doesn't kill, but this gateway drug houses you in anxiety, psychosis, and depression^[11][12]

By that time I had done part-time jobs for a couple of magazines that included Bichinta (eventually landing me a job at daily Ajker Kagoj), lost virginity, had poems published by the Bangla Academy, and learned to smoke ganja and hash in copious amounts. Bangladesh, by that time, had seen two authoritative rulers Ziaur Rahman, who was assassinated,^[13] and Hossain Mohammad Ershad, who was ousted in a mass uprise, violently come and go.

I got myself into the department of International relations at Dhaka University that taught me the fundamentals of military history and military strategy, a serious Drug abuse problem and sailed through 8 political groups, mostly left wing movements that included Bangladesh Students Union, 14 different jobs, mostly with newspapers that included The Daily Star and Prothom Alo, and even more varieties of women and Narcotics. Between 1991, the year Bangladesh Nationalist Party and Jamaat-e-Islami Bangladesh formed the government with Khaleda Zia as the Prime Minister, and 1999 life became a manic mess of a myriad misadventures.

[edit] Back again

The monkey is always in need of help

I was saved by three blessings in the end - Narcotics Anonymous, Osho and Oxfam - helping out with sobriety, serenity and sanity. I got into a Twelve-step program in 2002, and more blessings followed. The next year I joined the JWT, which in Bangladesh is led by Aly Zaker, a trustee of the Liberation War Museum, Asaduzzaman Nur, and Bangladesh Awami League parliamentarian, and Sara Zaker.

Now I get to work on brands like Nokia, Lux, Sunsilk, Wheel (the last two belong to Unilever), Pepsi, Mountain Dew, 7 Up, Mirinda (the last thee belong to PepsiCo, obviously), and Singapore Airlines. I also worked on campaigns for almost all the Bangladesh telco brands - banglalink, Citycell Grameenphone and Aktel. I also have a social communication portfolio campaigning for UNICEF (in Bangladesh and Afghanistan), UNDP, UNFPA, IOM, WHO, Transparency International, Save the Children, Marie Stopes, and BRAC.

And, I also get play around really silly stuff like the Facebook,^[14] Flickr,^[15] YouTube,^[16] children's flash games or superhero questionnaires. No wonder that more than half of my days are spent in front of a computer (which has name too - Hambaa, which means moo in Bengali).

[edit] Slip knot

My former wife, who's a film maker.

The following year I got married to a film director who was working at Lowe Worldwide, which in Bangladesh is led by Geeti Ara Shafia, an advisor of the Caretaker government of Bangladesh in 2007. Her film Dhaka 2005, produced by Bangladesh Short Film Forum was nominated for an award at Rome Independent Film Festival^[17] She has also workd for the British-Bangladesh production The Last Thakur as a casting director though it was largely uncredited.^[18]

Did you know that in 2000s street colloquial, according to the UrbanDictionary.com, "shumu" means - to be sneaky, nice, mean, hot, evil, crazy, intelligent, awesome, deadly, scary, funny, intimidating, lovely, charming, and dry all at the same time?^[19] In Machame Unn (a Tanzanian dialect), Pangwa (a Malawi dialect ) and Siha (a Chagga dialect) tongues it also means dry, hard, and upright.^[20] Ha! What a shame (Pun intended).

My wife's namesake Shamu, the lovely Orca at SeaWorld Orlando

Luckily, in anceient Akkadian it (SHU-MU, sometime pronounced shamu) meant the heaven.^[21] Leaving the earth was associated with the shumu (sometimes reffered to as shumamu or shama'u) is ancient Akkadian, and shem in ancient Sumerian, both derivied from the same root.^[22][23] Shumu is also considered divinity on Earth by Nuwaubian dialects. Interesting to see how "One man's meat is another's poison" (I like Aphorisms, appropriate or not).

Anyways, the marriage fell apart, and we got divorced. Together we used to live in Mohammadpur Thana. Now she lives in Ramna Thana and I live in New Market Thana. Now I am quite single and not looking. But, that's alright.

[edit] Epilogue: Monkey's day out

This editor is a Grand Tutnum, and is entitled to display this Book of Knowledge with Coffee Cup Stain.

The areas that really interest me are mostly about Bangladesh, particularly History, Geography, Dhaka City, the War of Liberation, and the minority population). I also have an interest in the areas of Religion in Bangladesh (especially Christianity), Spirituality, and Pornography.

While stumbling around in the Wikipedia I have come face to face with all forms of Chinese martial arts - Eagle Claw (鷹爪派), Butterfly Sword (蝴蝶雙刀), Jeet Kune Do (截拳道), Lau Gar (劉家), Five Animals (五形), Silk reeling (纏絲功) or any form of Monkey Kung Fu (isn't that obvious?). There are discrepancies, conflicting philosophies, contradictory evidence, confusing precedence, sneaky vandalism and... you get the point. It is interesting to find, though, the admins at odds. You know, consensus doesn't ever come easy.

Though I consider myself a polymath, I have suffered from a number of WikiDiseases at varying degrees - Academic Standards Disease, Wikinoia, Wikistress, Redlinkphobia, Link madness, Substub disease and Edit counting. I haven't suffered from Admnitis yet, because, you dummy, I'm not an administrator here. I don't think I ever will want to be one, not with my level of patience.

[edit] Filmography

[edit] See also

• See also: Infinite monkey theorem in popular culture, Hundredth Monkey Effect, List of characters in the Super Monkey Ball series, Chinese room
• See also also: Monkey of the Wiktionary, Monkey of the Wikispecies, Monkey of the Commons, Monkey of the Wikiquote, Monkey of the Wikisource, Monkey of the Wikinews
• See also also also: Brookie's bio, Raider2044's bio, Arkyan's bio, Johnleemk's bio, Juhachi's bio, Eric Herboso's bio, Angcr's bio

[edit] References