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This is a list of fictional characters from the television series Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.

Contents 1 Main Characters 1.1 Ned Bigby 1.2 Jennifer Mosely 1.3 Simon Cook 2 Recurring Characters 2.1 Gordy 2.2 Suzie Crabgrass 2.3 Missy Meany 2.4 Billy Loomer 2.5 Jerry Crony 2.6 Buzz Rodriguez 2.7 The Huge Crew 2.8 Bitsy 2.9 Seth Powers 2.10 Coconut Head 2.11 Toot-Toot 2.12 Martin Qwerly 2.12.1 Le-Forger 2.13 Claire Sawyer 2.14 Lisa Zemo 2.15 Coach Joy Dirga 2.16 Mr. Sweeney 2.17 Spencer 2.18 iTeacher 2.19 Principal Pal 2.20 Principal Wright 2.21 Faymen Phorchin 2.22 Vice Principal Harvey Crubbs 2.23 Mr. Monroe 2.24 Dr. Xavier 2.25 Evelyn Kwong 2.26 The Scoop 2.27 Mr. Chopsaw 2.28 Mr. Combover 2.29 Dr. Lowe 2.30 Mr. Kwest 2.31 Rose The Lunch Lady 2.32 The Weasel 2.33 Miss Knap 2.34 Killer Bees 2.35 Mr. Weiner 2.36 Mr. Gross 2.37 Backpack Boy 2.38 Mike Grudzielanek 2.39 Doug 2.40 Palmer Noid 2.41 Albert Wormheimer 2.42 Stu 2.43 Vanessa 2.44 Martha Qwerly 2.45 Miss Splitz 2.46 Lance Widget 2.47 Jock Goldman 2.48 Amy Cassidy 2.49 Psycho Jones 2.50 Mr. Gibson 2.51 Nurse Hunsucker

[edit] Main Characters

[edit] Ned Bigby

Ned Bigby
Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide character
Created by	Scott Fellows
Portrayed by	Devon Werkheiser
Information
Nickname(s)	Big Bee, Wheels, Wedgepicker, Nedcompoop
Aliases	Den Ybgib
Occupation	student
Family	Mrs. Bigby (mother)

Ned Bigby (Devon Werkheiser) Ned is the main character who created the guide after walking into the girls bathroom in kindergarten, where it is revealed that he couldn't see well. He is usually getting into trouble with his friends Moze and Cookie. Ned is a pretty smart boy, but he's also very lazy: most of the time he gets scores lower than the average (although he's perfectly capable to get straight As when he works seriously) and tries to find the easiest way (not necessarily the right or logical way) to solve any personal problem. Because of this, his plans usually backfire, but teach him lessons that result in the tips of his School Survival Guide. Ned has been neighbors with Moze his whole life. His dream girl is Suzie Crabgrass and has been since they were eight years old, but in the series finale, he and Moze kiss and start dating. His dream girl has to be funny, have a good smile and attitude. He usually turns to Gordy, the school's janitor, for advice.

Friends

• Gordy
• Albert
• Moze
• Cookie
• Lisa
• Martin
• Coconut Head
• Faymen
• Suzie
• Stu

Girlfriends

• Suzie Crabgrass
• Jennifer Mosely
• Missy Meany

[edit] Jennifer Mosely

Jennifer Mosely
Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide character
Created by	Scott Fellows
Portrayed by	Lindsey Shaw
Information
Nickname(s)	Moze
Occupation	student

Jennifer Ann Mosely aka "Moze" (Lindsey Shaw) Jennifer goes by the name of "Moze" because Ned called her that in first grade to avoid confusion from the other three Jennifers in the class. She was usually trying to break away from Ned and Cookie in the hope of getting a girl best friend in the early part of the show (for mainly season one). She eventually became best friends with her worst enemy, Suzie Crabgrass. Moze seems to be annoyed by Ned all the time, but their feelings for each other change throughout the series. She also makes friends with many other people after becoming friends with Cookie and Ned. She is a volleyball jock and has set the most school records, including one for the most school records. She's usually the one Ned and Cookie come to for favors. In the season finale, she and Ned become boyfriend and girlfriend.

Boyfriends

• Ned Bigby
• Faymen Porchin
• Seth Powers
• Billy Loomer

[edit] Simon Cook

Simon Nelson-Cook
Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide character
Created by	Scott Fellows
Portrayed by	Daniel Curtis Lee
Information
Nickname(s)	Cookie, P-Cookie
Occupation	student
Family	Mr.Nelson-Cook (father) Mrs. Nelson-Cook (mother)

Simon Nelson-Cook aka "Cookie" (Daniel Curtis Lee) Simon goes by the name of Cookie, since his last name is Cook. He is a computer nerd and is usually in some kind of crisis. He often uses his knowledge with technology to help himself and his friends. He has a motherboard in his locker, his pants double as a printer, and his glasses double as a computer display. Even though he didn't like her in the first and second season, he falls for Lisa Zemo who had a complete makeover in 8th grade. In some episodes in the 8th grade adventures, he tries to get her to go out for pizza with him, which never works because she has lots of guys to date until the last episode. At the end of the series he finally gets to take Lisa out on a date.

Girlfriends

• Lisa Zemo
• Evelyn Kwong
• Vanessa

[edit] Recurring Characters

[edit] Gordy

Gordy (Daran Norris) The 40 year-old janitor at Polk who almost never does his job. Although the school is normally not visibly dirty, he usually is crazy about capturing a weasel that lives in the school and helping Ned, Cookie, and Moze with crazy activities. If there is a big mess to clean up, Gordy always gives the excuse (which is also his catchphrase) "Eh, I'll let the night guy get it". As the janitor for James Polk Middle School he has won the hearts of students and faculty because of knowing that the kids come first.

[edit] Suzie Crabgrass

Suzie Crabgrass (Christian Serratos) Ned's crush and Moze's rival at every sport, but later best friend. Suzie didn't like Ned from seasons 1-2, having ended up dating Billy Loomer for a short time at the beginning of season 2. But at season 3, she has a crush on him, and started dating. She was Ned's dream girl since the age of eight. In the season finale she ends up dating Billy Loomer again.

[edit] Missy Meany

Missy Meany - (Carlie Casey)- A girl at the school who is a pretty and popular. Missy is a school cheerleader. However, she turns out to be a nasty person who cheats at most anything and will stop at nothing to get her way. She has an obsessive crush on Ned. She is a Gemini. She also has two bodyguards.

[edit] Billy Loomer

Billy Loomer (Kyle Swann) The leader of a trio of bullies at Polk Middle School. He and his bully friends enjoy picking on kids, especially Ned and Cookie. He has a big crush on Moze, but ends up dating Suzie Crabgrass. He even has a crush on Cookie's alter ego Simone. At the end of the series he changes from a violent bully into a kind, respectable, well-mannered, young man. He is an Aries.

[edit] Jerry Crony

Jerry Crony (Matthew "Teo" Olivares) One of Loomer's friends, who aids him in bullying, with a penchant for fashion design and often tries to deny the fact everytime he is seen sewing, he tries to ask Missy out a few times in the series but always fails due to his hair and clothes

[edit] Buzz Rodriguez

Buzz Rodriguez (Recci Canon) One of Loomer's friends, who aids him in bullying, but doesn't talk much. Loomer even says he hasn't said anything the entire time Crony and himself have known him. The reason for this, as said by Buzz in the episode "Volunteering", is that everything has been fine and he has never had a reason to talk up to that episode.

[edit] The Huge Crew

The Huge Crew A girl group of bullies in the school led by Doris Trembley. They strongly dislike Billy Loomer and his friends, and they love Ned.

[edit] Bitsy

Bitsy (Spencer Locke) A popular and mean girl who gets high grades on school and academic awards by cheating, being Moze her main victim, as revealed on the episode 'Cheaters and Bullies'. She also even tried to humiliate Moze by stealing her diary and the time she got Ned in trouble passing notes. She only hates Ned & Moze, but does like Cookie. She doesn't appear in Season 2 because she was possibly expelled by threating Ned & Moze and her character was replaced by Missy.

[edit] Seth Powers

Seth Powers (Alex Black) - The clueless and basketball loving boy of Moze's dreams in the seasons 1 and 2, who suddenly became smart after going out with Evelyn Kwong. He is usually seen spinning a basketball on his finger and making up bad rhymes.

[edit] Coconut Head

Coconut Head (Rob Pinkston) A geeky friend of Ned, Moze, and Cookie. No viewer knows his real name and nobody in school can remember his first name because they never say his real name. His nick name is based on his hairdo, which his mom gave him, which looks like a coconut. He gets cronic nose bleeds, and has been getting them ever since he was three.

[edit] Toot-Toot

Master Timmy Toot-toot (Kelii Miyata) A boy who, hence his last name, has a series of strong flatulence problems and usually warns so by exclaiming "Toot toot!".

[edit] Martin Qwerly

Martin Qwerly (Tylor Chase) Another geeky friend of Ned, Cookie, and Moze. He's extremely optimistic and is always seen talking, usually insanely fast. He is also known to be super-duper positive and is Le-Forger as hinted. People usually cover his mouth during his fast talks or put up a cardboard cutout of themselves next to him and leave. But he eventually stops this habit by season 3. He is the Class Vice-President.

[edit] Le-Forger

Le-Forger (Tylor Chase) A student at Polk who forges phony notes for students in exchange for a box of coconut Macaroons. He speaks in a fake French accent and uses a lighting effect in his "office" so that nobody can see his face. In reality, he is Martin Qwerly and barely managed to get away from the teachers after Cookie keeps making him forge notes for ridiculous reasons and can be seen eating a coconut macaroon at the end of the episode.

[edit] Claire Sawyer

Claire Sawyer (Brooke Marie Bridges) The "future lawyer" of the school, who represents students at Polk. She seems to pop up whenever somebody says the word lawyer. Claire's catchphrase is "Claire Sawyer, future lawyer," and hands the person a card. Ned, Cookie, and Moze knew her since pre-kindergarten.

[edit] Lisa Zemo

Lisa Zemo (Rachel Sibner) A geeky and good-natured friend of Ned, Cookie and Moze who undergoes a complete makeover in later episodes of the show. She is allergic to many things, including rap videos that exploit women. She had a crush on Cookie who found her creepy before her makeover and vies for her attention after it, competing with several geeky boys. She is the Class Treasurer.

[edit] Coach Joy Dirga

Coach Joy Dirga She is the tough female coach/gym teacher who enjoys Star Wars and soap operas.

[edit] Mr. Sweeney

Mr. Sweeney - (Don Creech) The "evil" science teacher, who Ned especially hates towards the beginning of the series (and vice-versa) but grows to like. Mr. Sweeney is often shown as the episode's antagonist but in some cases is just trying to either teach Ned, Cookie, and Moze a lesson or help them achieve. Mr. Sweeney describes Ned as his worst and favorite student and helps him out in the show's finale.

[edit] Spencer

Spencer (Corbin Bleu) A student at Polk who is very good at acting. He speaks with an British accent and dreams of being a Hollywood star. He his Ned's rival. In the episode "School Plays", Susie and Spencer play as Romeo & Juliet, and Spencer makes Ned's jealous by saying that the big kiss will win Suse over. In another episode "Revenge", Backpack Boy got revenge on Spencer for stealing his crush, Claire Sawyer. He only appeared twice because the actor Corbin Bleu was busy filming High School Musical 2.

[edit] iTeacher

iTeacher (Mo Collins) The English teacher who "home teaches". She appeared in season 3 and appears on an iMac G4 using the school's wireless chat server. A student usually wheels her around on a cart when she wants to speak to a particular person. Originally, iTeacher was supposed to be a hologram.

• According to Moze; The class thought in the first episode of season 3 that she only was a head.

[edit] Principal Pal

Principal Pal (John Bliss) The former principal of the school. He becomes the new socials studies teacher when Ms. Nap resigns.

[edit] Principal Wright

Principal Wright (Meshach Taylor) A Social Studies teacher at Polk that Moze likes best. He later becomes the principal in Season three. He is also the school's cross country coach. He appears as the Social Studies teacher in seasons 1 & 2. He grew a beard in Season 2. It is once revealed that he has his doctorate degree from Harvard University.

[edit] Faymen Phorchin

Faymen Phorchin (Vinicius Machado) Moze's crush, and later boyfriend in the third season until the episode "When You Like Someone Who Is Going Out With Someone Else", where he leaves to play Pro Soccer in Brazil. His name is a pun on the words "Fame and Fortune". When he kisses Moze, Moze feels nothing and says there is no spark, unlike Moze's kiss with Ned. In Season 3, episode 8 (Guide To: Bus and Bad Hair Days) the Spanish Teacher talks to Faymen in Spanish and he says that he misses his home in Brazil, but in Brazil, the national language is Portuguese.

[edit] Vice Principal Harvey Crubbs

Vice Principal Harvey Crubbs (Hamilton Mitchell) The Vice Principal and exaggerated character spoof of Miami Vice. Crubbs is always keeping an eye on Ned. He is obsessed with flamingos, mini powdered donuts, and sunglasses. He used to be a cop. His catchphrase is "Crubbs OUT!" and he usually aims to get students in trouble, especially Ned, Moze, and Cookie. He also says "you're fired" a lot. He also tried to trick all the people who were wanting an interview for Principal but Principal Pal knocked him out and put him in the trap room until Principal Wright managed to be principal

[edit] Mr. Monroe

Mr. Monroe (Jim J. Bullock) Mr. Monroe is Ned and Cookie’s Life Science and Health teacher, as well as being in charge of the Sewing Club and the school newspaper, The Howler. He also appears to be the basketball coach in season 1. He seems to be friends with many BMX racers. He says "Won't that be fun!" a lot in the first season.

[edit] Dr. Xavier

Dr. Xavier (Lusia Strus) Grade 8 Math teacher. She has a Russian accent, and loves romance novels. She likes Gordy, and is shown to wish to date him.

[edit] Evelyn Kwong

Evelyn Kwong (Michelle Kim) Studious student who likes competition within her courses. At first she has a huge rivalry with Cookie but becomes initially interested in him after they accidentally kiss. Seth becomes smart after dating Evelyn.

[edit] The Scoop

The Scoop (Vincent Martella) The school's journalist and photographer. Appears mostly in the first season. He doesn't appear in Season 3 because the actor who played him, had to start voicing in Phineas & Ferb.

[edit] Mr. Chopsaw

Mr. Chopsaw (Dave Florek) The school woodshop teacher. He has an unnatural obsession with woodworking and sometimes acts like he is "attracted" to the shop tools. He favors Moze as his best student and helps her through confusing times by giving her advice such as finding a talent for Ned's talent show and her feelings for Ned. He could immediately tell that there was something more between Ned and Moze.

[edit] Mr. Combover

Mr. Combover (Steve Bannos) The choir and music appreciation teacher. He also runs the school plays. He's known for liking the arts and classical music artists like Mozart and Beethoven, as well as having unusual facial hair that runs round the side of his face.

[edit] Dr. Lowe

Dr. Lowe (Fred Stoller) A character that does two jobs at Polk. He is seen as a study hall advisor and sometimes seen as the school's psychiatrist.

[edit] Mr. Kwest

Mr. Kwest (Dave "Gruber" Allen) Runs the computer lab, though he knows nothing about computers. Runs a fantasy war game club. Also drives the bus.

[edit] Rose The Lunch Lady

Rose The Lunch Lady - (Loni Love) - A lunch lady who can see the future in the beans. Her predictions always come true but not in the expected ways.

[edit] The Weasel

The Weasel - A weasel that runs around the school. Gordy wishes to capture this weasel and has used numerous traps in the series and failed. In one episode, Gordy successfully captures the weasel, but after finding a robot that was heading straight towards it, Gordy shows remorse and releases the weasel (and ends up being harmed by the robot). In the series finale movie, it is shown that the weasel is actually a female when she has given birth of new weasel babies. In season one, the weasel was elected Class President. The weasel also won the school's recycling contest after it stole the reusable materials collected by everyone else. The 'weasel' was actually played by a ferret named 'Vanessa the Ferret'.

[edit] Miss Knap

Miss Knap - The old social studies teacher who always likes to sleep. She sets up a contest and the winner will win a hotel room. Her replacement is Mr. Pal.

[edit] Killer Bees

Killer Bees - A group of spelling bee addicted students. They always dress in yellow and black and tend to quickly spell insults at people. They don't appear in Season 2 because possibly they were expelled due to cheating for the spelling bee.

[edit] Mr. Weiner

Mr. Weiner - A substitute teacher that has saved Ned from the girl's bathroom three times. He tries bringing his large walrus to school to make his students laugh. He is seen only in "Substitute Teachers."

[edit] Mr. Gross

A teacher with nil hygienic habits, which makes him have a extremely disgusting smell. He was seen only two times on the first season.

[edit] Backpack Boy

Backpack Boy - A student that carries an oversized backpack. He has many things in his backpack including flags used on the school spirit day. And a pencil dispenser/sharpener. Plus a pouch that holds nose wipes. He is once shown as a superhero. He has a crush on Claire Sawyer.

[edit] Mike Grudzielanek

Mike Grudzielanek (Joseph Ruzer) - A student who is a bully and also a jock. He is also in the choir. Although he appears a lot they only mention his name 2 times. It is implied that he might play basketball and football, he is friends with Seth and Paul

[edit] Doug

Doug - A seemingly popular male student, who always goes surrounded by girls who like him. His face is unseen, since the girls cover him completely.

[edit] Palmer Noid

Palmer Noid - A fifth grader who later becomes a student in Season 3. He appears in 2 episodes in Season 2 & one episode in Season 3. He says the word "Cheesin" a lot. He is commonly known as the "kid who takes pants".

[edit] Albert Wormheimer

Albert Wormheimer - A student who is like Cookie but he's nearly overweight. He wears glasses like Cookie. He created the popularity list for Polk in Season 3. He picks his nose. He is a Virgo.

[edit] Stu

Stu - Another student who is like Cookie but he's nearly overweight. He wears glasses like Cookie. He bites his nails.

[edit] Vanessa

Vanessa (Logan Browning) - A student who was Cookie's girlfriend in Season 2. She doesn't appear in Season 3 because she split up with Cookie and went to highschool.

[edit] Martha Qwerly

Martha Qwerly - A student who is Martin's sister. She only appeared in one episode.

[edit] Miss Splitz

Miss Splitz - A school counsellor in Polk who spied on Ned if he did do good grades. She speaks like R. Lee Ermey to Ned.

[edit] Lance Widget

Lance Widget - A bully who is also smarter than Ned, Cookie & Moze. He calls everybody a moron.

[edit] Jock Goldman

Jock Goldman - A jock who likes Moze in Season 2. It is unknown that his first name is "Jock".

[edit] Amy Cassidy

Amy Cassidy (Lucy Hale) - A student who was Jock's ex-girlfriend.

[edit] Psycho Jones

Psycho Jones - A student who looks like a psycho. He appeared twice in the series.

[edit] Mr. Gibson

Mr. Gibson - (Art Alexakis) - A music teacher who appeared for one episode in season 2, his name is a reference to Gibson guitars. The song "Rock Star" by Everclear (the band that Alexakis is the lead singer of) was also featured in this episode.

[edit] Nurse Hunsucker

Nurse Hunscker - The school nurse who helps the sick students. In one episode, she was mean to Ned, so that he could not meet Mat Hoffman.