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"Goo Goo Gai Pan"
The Simpsons episode
Homer, Selma, Ling, and Madam Wu (Lucy Liu)
Episode no.	347
Prod. code	GABF06
Orig. airdate	March 13, 2005
Written by	Dana Gould (under the name Lawrence Talbot)
Directed by	Lance Kramer
Couch gag	The living room is dark, with many eyes present. The lights go up, and many secondary characters appear behind a banner that reads, "Surprise!" The Simpsons come in and the characters yell, "SURPRISE!" Homer suddenly has a heart attack and passes out.
Guest star(s)	Robert Wagner as himself Lucy Liu as Madam Wu
Season 16 November 7, 2004 – May 15, 2005 "Treehouse of Horror XV" "All's Fair in Oven War" "Sleeping with the Enemy" "She Used to Be My Girl" "Fat Man and Little Boy" "Midnight Rx" "Mommie Beerest" "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass" "Pranksta Rap" "There's Something About Marrying" "On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister" "Goo Goo Gai Pan" "Mobile Homer" "The Seven-Beer Snitch" "Future-Drama" "Don't Fear the Roofer" "The Heartbroke Kid" "A Star Is Torn" "Thank God It's Doomsday" "Home Away from Homer" "The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star" List of all The Simpsons episodes
Seasons 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21

"Goo Goo Gai Pan" is the twelfth episode from the sixteenth season of The Simpsons, which originally aired on March 13, 2005.

[edit] Plot

Selma gives Mr. Burns his driving test to replace his old license, which expired in 1909. During the test, she experiences a hot flash (so hot that she melts snow in a matter of seconds) and is later taken to the hospital. Dr. Hibbert tells her that she is experiencing menopause (which is explained in a video with Robert Wagner). She is saddened that now she cannot have children. Patty suggests that she adopt a child. She almost manages to adopt one of Cletus' many babies, but that falls through after Cletus reclaims the child. Lisa advises Selma to adopt a child from China. Although her forms are in order, Selma learns that she has to be married to legally get a child. When she finds out that the agency-person knows who MacGyver is, she puts down the second name she can think of: Homer Simpson.

She sponsors a trip to China for the Simpsons. While on the plane, Selma informs Homer that he must pretend to be her husband. He is shocked, but later decides to do it for Marge. When they arrive, Selma claims that Bart and Lisa are their own children and Marge is their nanny. The Chinese adoption agent, Madam Wu (voiced by Lucy Liu), tells them that they will get a baby in a few days. The Simpsons visit the Great Wall of China and take in a Chinese production of Death of a Salesman which leaves Homer weeping and declaring that he finally "gets this play." When asked about his job in America, reasoning that he has no chance of being outed, Homer claims he is a Chinese acrobat.

As luck would have it, at an acrobatics show, it is announced that the main performer had a sudden attack of "outspokenness" and suffered a "bullet-related death". When people start to realize that the Communist Party of China is not infallible and start questioning everything, Homer is told to perform to forestall an impending riot. The stunt (named "Chair Man Wow") involves being catapulted onto a high stack of chairs. The stunt goes off smoothly, but Homer's over-enthusiastic chanting of "U-S-A!" causes the stack to topple and he gets severely injured and is treated in a hospital, where he is treated with acupuncture needles (which are revealed to actually be porcupine quills). There, Selma gets her daughter, whom she names Ling, who likes to grab Homer's eyes. Selma thanks Homer for doing the right thing and decides to leave him to snuggle with Marge for a while. When everyone leaves, Homer and Marge snuggle. Unbeknownst to them, Madam Wu is watching them through holes in the nose of a portrait of Chairman Mao.

As the Simpsons and Selma are about to leave, Madam Wu arrives and takes Ling away, as Homer and Selma are not married. At the airport, The Simpsons try to console a despondent Selma. Lisa has an idea of getting Ling back. At the nursery, they dress and spray paint Homer as a cross-legged golden Buddha statue. According to the customs of feng shui, the Buddha statue must be taken indoors. The Chinese guards try pushing him in, but he is too heavy. They insert a hook into his nostril and drag him into the nursery, which is very painful for Homer. When they leave, Homer goes inside the nursery to search for Ling.

The Simpsons, Selma and Ling pass through Tiananmen Square, a place where, according to the Chinese shown in the episode, "nothing happened" in 1989. Suddenly, Madam Wu, in a tank, confronts them and demands the baby back in a way similar to the Tank Man. After an impassioned speech from Selma, Madam Wu agrees to allow Selma to adopt Ling. Apparently, Wu herself had been raised by her mother alone, as her father was choked to death by a ping-pong ball the day before the Heimlich maneuver was invented, explaining her leniency (though she does stop Homer from smuggling a giant panda cub out of China). Selma, Ling, and the Simpsons depart China by junk except for Bart, who has been replaced by a Chinese child spy who is masquerading as him to deceive Homer. The episode ends with three dragons flying in the sky and singing about humanity's end while playing an erhu.

[edit] Cultural references

When Maddam Wu is in the tank there is a shot of Selma standing right in front of her in a reference to the Tank Man.

[edit] References

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